This past week has been like gasoline pouring on a searing-hot pile of embers. We have all been cooped up, waiting until we’ve flattened the curve. And now a lot of that frustration has exploded onto the streets.
When I hear about the chanting for justice and police officers taking a knee to honor those who have been treated unfairly, I am deeply moved. Even though I feel afraid, hearing gunshots, pipe bombs and helicopters in my neighborhood, I feel joy also. I’m not interested in saying who is right and wrong. I delight in the aliveness and expression. I believe the existential principles of aliveness, expression and truth to be fundamental to living a life worth living. I am interested in creating a more just and prosperous world where everyone has the opportunity to reach their potential. When I see social explosions like those that happened over the week, I think of my own family, where not speaking was considered the best way to handle difficult situations.
Feeling any feeling fully was not acceptable in my family and community at large—especially anger. I remember the heavy silence in my home. Not once do I recall seeing or hearing my parents fight. Instead, there was a dense and hushed upset. I internalized this, forming the belief that anger and conflict were bad. I chose to deny my anger and aggression as best I could, avoiding responsibility for my feelings. However, my anger and aggression leaked out in unconscious ways that did not really help me or others, yet helped to keep the family system intact.
That is not the way to a fully lived life. In our work at the Wright Foundation, we focus on the value of all expression and learning how to use it to nourish growth instead of pushing it down until it explodes in other ways. There are not enough people who have been given the tools to feel all of our feelings and become stronger for it. I want everyone to get that opportunity.
One of the best things you can do for a world in chaos is to work on your own development—no matter who you are.
